Confessions

This text, "The Confessions of Saint Augustine," is an autobiographical and theological work that traces Augustine's spiritual journey from his sinful youth to his eventual conversion to Christianity. Structured as a long prayer to God, the book is a profound exploration of sin, grace, and the nature of God, memory, and time. Augustine recounts his early life of ambition and sensual pleasure, his intellectual wanderings through philosophies like Manichaeism and Neoplatonism, and the pivotal moments and relationships—especially with his mother, Monica, and Bishop Ambrose—that led him to embrace the Catholic faith. The narrative part of the work culminates in his dramatic conversion, while the later books shift to a deeply philosophical and exegetical mode, reflecting on the nature of creation and time through an analysis of the Book of Genesis.

Section 1: Early Life and Intellectual Wandering (Books I-IV)

This section details Augustine's life from infancy through his young adulthood as a student and teacher of rhetoric. He begins by praising God and reflecting on the nature of infancy, identifying the roots of sin even in the selfish cries of a baby. His boyhood is marked by a hatred for his Greek studies but a love for Latin literature, particularly the vain and empty tales of mythology, which he laments as a distraction from the pursuit of God. A pivotal moment is his theft of pears with a group of friends, an act he analyzes with deep psychological insight. He concludes that he stole not out of need or desire for the pears themselves, but for the love of sin and the thrill of transgression. As a student in Carthage, he is consumed by ambition and lust, taking a concubine with whom he has a son, Adeodatus. During this time, at the age of nineteen, he reads Cicero's Hortensius, which ignites in him a powerful desire for wisdom and truth, though he is initially repelled by the simple style of the Christian Scriptures. This search leads him to embrace Manichaeism, a dualistic religion that seemed to offer a rational explanation for the existence of evil. The section concludes with him as a teacher of rhetoric, still lost in Manichaean error and grieving the death of a close friend, a loss that plunges him into a profound existential crisis and reveals the misery of loving perishable things.

Section 2: The Search for Truth and Conversion (Books V-VIII)

This part of the narrative chronicles Augustine's growing disillusionment with Manichaeism and his intellectual and spiritual journey toward Christianity. He travels from Carthage to Rome and then to Milan, where he meets the influential Bishop Ambrose. Initially, Augustine is drawn to Ambrose only for his eloquence, but he soon finds that the Bishop's allegorical interpretation of the Old Testament resolves many of his previous objections to the Scriptures. His faith in Manichaeism is finally shattered after a long-awaited meeting with the famed Manichaean bishop, Faustus, whom Augustine discovers to be eloquent but intellectually shallow. Still struggling to conceive of a non-corporeal God, he turns to the books of the Neoplatonists, which help him grasp the idea of a spiritual reality and the nature of evil as a privation of good, not a substance in itself. Despite these intellectual breakthroughs, he remains bound by his lust and worldly ambition. This section culminates in the famous conversion scene in Book VIII. Tormented by his internal conflict and inspired by stories of others who had fully devoted their lives to God, Augustine retreats to a garden in a state of crisis. There, he hears a child's voice chanting, "Take up and read." He opens the letters of Saint Paul at random, and his eyes fall upon a passage exhorting him to abandon the ways of the flesh and "put on the Lord Jesus Christ." In that instant, all his doubts and hesitations vanish, and he is fully resolved to dedicate his life to God.

Section 3: Baptism, Mourning, and the Nature of Memory (Books IX-X)

This section deals with the immediate aftermath of Augustine's conversion. He resigns from his post as a professor of rhetoric and, with his mother Monica, his son Adeodatus, and his friend Alypius, retreats to a country villa at Cassiciacum to prepare for baptism. This period is marked by philosophical dialogues and a newfound peace. Book IX is a moving tribute to his mother, Monica. He recounts her life of devout faith, her patient prayers for his conversion, and her peaceful death at Ostia as they were preparing to return to Africa. Augustine describes a mystical vision he shared with her just days before her death, where they ascended in spirit to the heights of divine wisdom. After her death, he processes his deep grief, moving from raw sorrow to a prayerful commendation of her soul to God. Book X transitions from past narrative to a confession of his present state. In a profound act of self-examination, he explores the vast and mysterious faculty of memory, questioning how he is able to seek and find God within it. He analyzes the "threefold concupiscence"—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—and confesses the ways these temptations still assail him, praying for God's continued grace.

Section 4: Meditations on Creation and Time (Books XI-XIII)

In these final books, Augustine shifts from personal autobiography to a complex theological and philosophical exegesis of the opening chapters of the Book of Genesis. Having confessed his past and present life, he now seeks to understand God's act of creation. Book XI contains his famous and intricate meditation on the nature of time. Responding to the question, "What was God doing before He made heaven and earth?" Augustine argues that time itself is a created thing and therefore the question is meaningless, as there was no "before" when time did not exist. He concludes that time is a "protraction" or "distention" of the mind itself, which measures the impressions of things as they pass. Books XII and XIII are a detailed allegorical interpretation of the Genesis creation account. He explores the meaning of "heaven and earth," "formless matter," and the six days of creation, interpreting them not just literally but also as figures for the spiritual creation of the Church and the spiritual development of the individual soul. The work concludes with a vision of the Sabbath rest, a symbol of the eternal peace and rest that the soul finds in God.