The Autobiography of St. Ignatius

This text is the autobiography of St. Ignatius of Loyola, dictated by himself. It recounts his transformation from a worldly soldier to the founder of the Society of Jesus. The narrative follows his profound spiritual conversion after a severe injury, his arduous journey as a pilgrim seeking divine will through intense prayer and penance, and his eventual path through persecution and university studies to gather the first companions who would join him in his mission.

Conversion and Spiritual Awakening The story begins with Ignatius as a vain courtier and soldier whose leg is shattered by a cannonball at the siege of Pampeluna. During his painful recovery, he is forced to read "The Life of Christ" and "The Flowers of the Saints" in place of the chivalric romances he desires. Through this reading, he experiences a profound conversion, noticing that thoughts of worldly glory leave him sad, while thoughts of imitating saints like Francis and Dominic fill him with lasting peace. This realization is deepened by a vision of the Virgin Mary and the Infant Jesus, which gives him a deep loathing for his past sins and a miraculous gift of chastity. Driven by a desire to do great things for God, he renounces his former life, exchanges his fine clothes with a beggar, and keeps a night-long vigil of arms before the altar of Our Lady at Montserrat, dedicating himself as a knight in the service of Christ.

The Pilgrim's Trials and Illuminations After leaving Montserrat, Ignatius settles in the town of Manresa, where he lives as a beggar and practices extreme penances. This period is marked by intense spiritual trials, including severe temptations and crippling scruples over his past sins that bring him to the brink of despair. He overcomes these struggles through absolute trust in God and a resolution to never again confess his past sins. In Manresa, he also receives extraordinary spiritual consolations and profound mystical illuminations. The most significant of these occurs on the bank of the Cardoner River, where his understanding is so enlightened that he feels he has become a new man. These experiences form the foundation of his "Spiritual Exercises." His ultimate goal is to live in the Holy Land, and he makes a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, only to be commanded by the Franciscan authorities to leave due to the dangers of the region.

Persecution, Studies, and Founding the Society Accepting that it is not God's will for him to stay in Jerusalem, Ignatius realizes he must pursue an education to be more effective in helping souls. This begins a long period of study, first in Barcelona and later at the universities of Alcala and Salamanca. His efforts to teach and guide others spiritually arouse suspicion, leading to multiple investigations and imprisonments by the Inquisition, which forbids him from teaching until his studies are complete. Undeterred, he moves to the University of Paris, where he finally completes his philosophical and theological education. It is here that he gathers his first companions, including Peter Faber and Francis Xavier, by guiding them through the Spiritual Exercises. After vowing to live in poverty and chastity and to go to Jerusalem, the companions travel to Venice. When war prevents their passage, they proceed to Rome to offer their services to the Pope. Near Rome, Ignatius has a final transformative vision where he feels God the Father places him with His Son, cementing his mission and leading directly to the formation of the Society of Jesus.